Travel Photography - Not Leaving for Paris...

If you follow me on my personal social media accounts, or really have had any kind of conversation with me in the past four weeks, I'm sure you've heard me whine about the current disappointment in my life. I've had an unexpected coronavirus casualty. I should be leaving for Paris today.

I had planned my dream vacation. I somehow procured a killer deal on a flight. I booked a beautiful rooftop Airbnb in Montmartre. The last time I was in Paris, I was naive, 19-years-old, hadn't moved to Chicago yet, and had no clue about anything with my narrow worldview. Now, nearly 20 years later, I finally felt brave enough to travel to Paris solo. I longed to wander the streets of Paris accompanied only by the thoughts in my mind, observations on humanity, the songs of Polo & Pan, and Yves Montand in my earbuds. I wanted to taste all the delicacies, drink all the wine, soak up the springtime air that is Paris in April. I had plans to get a new tattoo at a hip Parisian tattoo club. I even took the time to book a few portfolio shoots with a couple of native-Parisian friends of friends. I was looking forward to making new friends and creating inspiring memories to carry with me forever.

Reports of this virus started to roll in, I didn't think much of it. Weeks passed, my friend Erika was the first person to alert me that I should probably reconsider that trip. "Yeah right," I said, "it'll all be fine, I mean, if I get sick I can hang out in a French hospital for a few days, no big deal. It'll probably better there than it would be in the US, right?" Once again, naive, narrow-minded, not even a week later, my trip was in the process of being canceled, I was devastated.

It's more than just this trip being canceled though, sure, I'm disappointed, but I wanted to prove that this was something I could do. I wanted to do something just for me. I wanted to show I was brave. I wanted to take some beautiful portraits of people in Paris. I wanted to go alone. Dine alone. Walk alone. Explore alone. I wanted to face parts of myself I’ve never had to face before.

What I'm genuinely mourning is the loss of the known and this new journey into the unknown. Who among us has any idea what will happen tomorrow, next week, a month from now? We cannot bank on certainties right now…but isn't it also kind of exciting while being absolutely terrifying? I thought to go to Paris alone was going to prove I was brave. How could I have known just being home, staying home, would be all the proof I needed? To experience something like this takes more bravery than flying across an ocean to spend a week alone. Now, as we venture into the unknown, I leave you with this quote from one of Josh Radnor’s “Museletters,” that I’ve chosen to keep stowed away in my pocket for times like these, “The only safe place to be is the unknown…the unknown is the only place where we find out what we're truly made of." I hope you feel safe, I hope you feel comfort, I hope you take a moment to slow down and face the unknown parts of yourself. Rest easy knowing we’re all in the unknown together.

I hope you enjoy these photographs, these were taken when I was a teen in Paris, slowly beginning my foray into Photography!